Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute and it seems like an hour. Life before toilet paper was not worth living Sherrilyn Kenyon An atheist is a person who has nobody to blame when he screws up Fakeer Ishavardas Whenever you fall always pick something up Avery Patrick Carr Weather forecast for tonight.

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A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

Funny one line quotes on life. A married man has no shirt. One line that holds much wisdom. If only you had planned ahead and had a few one-liners in your back pocket ready for whenever you needed them Relax weve got your back.

Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. You wont drink away the alcoholism. 70 good thoughts for life in one line.

71 good thoughts about life in one line. Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time. An unmarried man has no buttons on his shirt.

-Abraham Lincoln We all pay for life with death so everything in between should be free. Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. If youre still looking for that one person who will change your life take a look in the mirror.

Virgil Eclogues Book IX 39 BCE 38 BCE. 1162018 Many of these funny one liners are from legendary comedians and others are from random or unknown people. Enjoy laughing out loud to all these hilarious one liners.

Thats the funny thing about life. Focus on your life goals couple goals can wait. Its harder if youre stupid.

I have a lot of growing up to do. Dark George Carlin. I want to achieve immortality through not dying.

64 best quotes in one line. Attitude fat life men women 8274 3329 votes. Be so busy loving your life that you have no time for hate regret or fear.

-Jack Handey Life is hard. This funny life quote teaches you two lessons. -Ernest Hemingway Be excellent and party on dudes.

It doesnt take Albert Einstein to figure out that everyone loves to laugh and hear some funny sayings every now and then and your blog readers are no different. The road will be less tedious. Life is not a movie if the enemy is stronger than you.

My life has the tendency to fall apart when Im awake you know. 67 single line quotations. Life can sometimes be a true challenge.

Here are 45 funny quotes by some well-known funny men and women on life that will enthuse you. In fact the genius himself had a quirky sense of humor. Memory is what tells a man his wedding anniversary was yesterday.

66 inspirational one line quotes. The older you get the truer this quote is. 69 quotes single line.

One Line Status On Life. I dont want to achieve immortality through my work. Carl Gustav Jung Life is a question and how we live it is our answer.

The very first one will say. Try to be optimistic in any situation if not the others can take unfair advantage of you. First is the intelligent way to borrow money and second is.

That means I appreciate what I have. Check out these 300 funny quotes that will seriously make you laugh out loud and lift your spirits fast. The smile on my face doesnt mean my life is perfect.

Behind every successful man there is a woman. Life in abundance comes only through only great love Elbert Hubbard The Notebook of Elbert Hubbard 1927 Let us go singing as far as we go. -John Wayne I love sleep.

I only learned one thing in life. 63 life thoughts in one line. Inspirational quotes about life and success between lines in Real life often have a lot of real stresses.

Funny life quotes and sayings Life is like a sewer what you get out of it depends on what you put into it by Tom Lehrer. 16102020 Funny One-Liners On Life Life is a terminal disease Take my advice Im not using it A clean house is a sign of a misspent life Dont trust atoms they make up everything If you fall Ill be there Floor Where theres a will there are five hundred relatives Always be sincere. You turn around and years seem to have gone by in a blink of a day.

Up until then you are just doing research. Behind every unsuccessful man there are two. 1242020 It is absolutely true.

Youd be the Chevy Chase circa late-70s of your social circle the one who could be counted on to say the perfect thing at the perfect time to make everybody feel a little less uncomfortable and silly. 65 one liner life quotes. 68 line on life.

Here are our favorite funny motivational quotes about life work and becoming successful. 1062017 Typically stand-up comedians possess a unique style of inspiring the world with their rib-tickling sense of humor. Gary Keller Accept life as it is.

Life really does begin at forty. 1032015 I hope life isnt a big joke because I dont get it. 8281 1295 votes.

I gave him a glass of water. The average man does not know what to do with his life yet wants another one which will last forever.

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